literature

The Brilliant Bob Barker

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Literature Text

The Brilliant Bob Barker, by David Nicholas

A silver-haired stud, the champion compere,
Boys & girls I present a host extraordinaire
Come On Down, as we celebrate his career
Decorated to a point we should all revere
Emmys aplenty, his count’s at nineteen
Five decades on air, a sight truly unseen
Gave away prizes like it went out of style
Had a heart of gold, with that noble profile
Iconic and immortal, imbued with insight
Just knowledge if you watched The Price is Right
Karate Kid kept this gig for thirty-five years
Let’s give him some raucous applause and cheers
Makes magic onstage, this primetime prince
Never will be another, these words I won’t mince
Opened a can of whoop-ass on one Happy Gilmore
Pray he likes this, for I’m not THAT hardcore
Quite the presence, both off-screen and on
Reckon the world’ll miss you once you are gone
So from a game show fan I must give praise
Thanks for priceless memories, those trails you blazed
United we shall stand, in honour of your toil
Vigour unmatched that made your fans loyal
Wish I could be there to pay you my esteem
‘Xalt your work ethic, heart, and strength supreme
Years spent as an animal rights straight shooter
Zesty is my cry “Get your pets spayed or neutered.”
Good evening everybody, and welcome to an exciting :new: episode of my one-for-one ABCs, featuring the legendary television host Bob Barker! :iconcheerplz:

As an Australian, my familiarity with Robert William Barker didn't come around until that Adam Sandler classic "Happy Gilmore", where he was featured as the pro-am partner of the titular character and, after a hilariously dreadful round of golf (Where were those quiet signs when the heckler made his move?) proceeds to beat the ever-loving crap out of Gilmore. It was there he uttered bad-ass lines like "I don't want a piece of you, I want the WHOLE THING!" and the best line of all, "NOW you've had enough... Bitch!"

He even won an MTV Movie Award for that awesome fight to boot. Winner 

Since then, thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I've caught several shows and clips of his record-breaking stint as host of The Price is Right, and as I've read more about his career and his work, particularly with animal rights, my respect for him and his longevity just grows larger and larger. But I might run the risk of spoiling my tribute to the man, so I'll sit back here and allow you to read for yourself just how much of an influence he's had on television, and to game show fans like myself in particular.

Thank you very much Bob, for inspiring generations to follow your lead not only in animal rights, but for life in general. The guy's ninety years old as of last month and I swear he makes ME feel older with his exuberant showcase of youth... :nod:

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TheSkull31's avatar
An excellent poem for an excellent man.