ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Depression, by David Nicholas…
“I’m fine,” the grieved yells
Feigned smile hides a world of angst
Dark thoughts have surfaced
Empty and soulless
Physically and mentally
Life grows bleak and cold
So ask this question
Come the ninth month or sometime
“Are you okay, friend?”
“I’m fine,” the grieved yells
Feigned smile hides a world of angst
Dark thoughts have surfaced
Empty and soulless
Physically and mentally
Life grows bleak and cold
So ask this question
Come the ninth month or sometime
“Are you okay, friend?”
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
First, a disclaimer: I don't suffer from depression, and won't claim to do so unless diagnosed otherwise.
Now with that out of the way, it was about time I addressed a pretty serious subject with one of my shorter haiku poems (I know, it isn't one verse long, but I don't care.
)
Just in Australia alone, it's estimated annually that 65,000 Australians attempt suicide, with nearly 5% succeeding... 5% too many.
I can't even begin to imagine the numbers abroad, especially in the US of A where tens of millions suffer from the debilitating disease. So, with Australia's "R U OK?" day approaching in six weeks, I want to address this crippling problem and hope we can combat this together.
Please feel free to leave behind comments and critiques and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
(Wrote a longer description than I did poem... Damn disclaimers.
)
Now with that out of the way, it was about time I addressed a pretty serious subject with one of my shorter haiku poems (I know, it isn't one verse long, but I don't care.
) Just in Australia alone, it's estimated annually that 65,000 Australians attempt suicide, with nearly 5% succeeding... 5% too many.
I can't even begin to imagine the numbers abroad, especially in the US of A where tens of millions suffer from the debilitating disease. So, with Australia's "R U OK?" day approaching in six weeks, I want to address this crippling problem and hope we can combat this together.
Please feel free to leave behind comments and critiques and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
(Wrote a longer description than I did poem... Damn disclaimers.
)Comments22
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall Vision Originality Technique
ImpactI love how you jump straight to relating it to many depressed people. I myself am often troubled with depression but I share my struggles with virtually no one. The way you described everything from the smile to the world helps to paint a picture in my mind so vividly this poem could be called a picture. After informing us of the victim you go on describing the situation in a bleak and saddening manner akin to how a depressed individual would think. The story doesn't end however with a dismal view on life as is very common to poems with depression as the main subject. It does the exact opposite and fights this terrible ailment with a message of hope and a reminder to help others. Even though this poem is short it had a moderately high "Impact" on me.